The Turning of Draco Malfoy
by Liv of life
Summary: Draco Malfoy is stuck in a hole with a spider and no yellow. What to do? Who shall save him? (implied SLASH)


**The Turning of Draco Malfoy**

_For: No one in particular_

_What??? I happen to like holes! Leave me alone!_

_Disclaimer: Not mine._

Draco Malfoy sat. Yes, you read correctly, he sat. But he didn't just sit! Oh no! He sat and _thought_! He also happened to be sitting and thinking in a hole. A very deep dark hole. Thus resulting in him not being able to see or get out. So, as you can imagine he was feeling fabulous.

And now that we have classified that Draco Malfoy was sitting, thinking and not seeing whilst being stuck in a deep dark hole in a bad mood we can move on to what exactly it was that Mr. Malfoy was thinking.

I hate the dark. It's so creepy...... I don't particularly like Green vegetables either.... Or dirty paper.... Hmmmm, so bored....

Now, as you may be able to tell, Draco had been stuck down in the deep dark hole for quite some time, so he had had sufficient time to start not panicking.

Draco sighed and poked himself in the eye, "OW!" Okay, well I'm definitely not a sadist, or does that only apply to me getting a kick out of other people's pain? Oh well, either way I now hate sadism... This hole is sadistic.

Draco sighed again. Geez darkness sucks. And all my robes are dark colours too. How typical! It's all my father's fault! I wanted yellow robes- but nooooooooooo! 'A Malfoy always wears black, yellow is for twits!' Well up yours Dad! I happen to like yellow! Oh if only I'd been in Hufflepuff! Then at least my Quidditch robes would be yellow... or at least I think they would be. Oh man! I've been down here so long I can't even remember what Hufflepuff's house colours are! Oh the pain!

Draco continued sitting and glared at the dark. Right! That's settled! I hate black robes! They should all die! Draco punched his right hand into his left and snarled menacingly, startling a small spider who had been trying to build a web between Draco's left elbow and the wall. Not noticing this, Draco continued on with his train of thought. Hmmmmm.... I should ask Dumbeldore about changing the school robes. Oh, but he won't change them just because I happen to dislike black! I hate teachers! Teacher's are stupid! In fact, I just plain hate working for anyone! When I leave school I plan on working for myself! Yeah! Then no one can tell me what to do!

Now, if you are anything like me, you will have noticed that all of Mr. Malfoy's hates put him at a severe disadvantage.

Oh no! Crap! I'm supposed to be a Death Eater!

Now, I will explain exactly _why_ this is so bad:

Death Eaters are Sadists

They like the dark

They like black

They only wear black

They think the colour yellow is for twits

They would be ashamed to be in Hufflepuf

They have exceptionally good memories

They always notice if a spider is trying to use them as an anchor for its web

They do not ask, they demand.

They avoid Albus Dumbeldore at all costs

They all work for somebody (Voldemort)

Their staple diet is.....

Green Vegetables!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Hello? Is anyone down there?"

Draco peered up the deep dark hole he was stuck in "Yes!"

"Are you okay?"

Draco didn't even bother answering that question. What did they think? I've just realised that my calling is not, in fact, my calling at all! And they expect me to be feeling well?!

"Okay, I'm lowering a rope just grab hold of it and I'll pull you up!"

How undignified! I hate ropes too!

But Mr. Malfoy took hold of the rope and was pulled up out of the deep dark hole that he had been in sitting and thinking in whilst in a particularly bad mood, by none other than....

"Harry Potter!"

Harry barely had a chance to react when Draco threw his arms around him and pulling him into a life threatening hug.

"I love you! Don't let me do it! I hate black and green vegetables! You've got to help me!"

After the initial shock wore off, Harry did help Draco and they both ended up defeating Voldemort and living happily ever after in a yellow house!

The End!


End file.
